Why highly sensitive persons (HSPs) suffer from imposter syndrome (and what can we do about it)

Feeling like everyone else has their shit together and knows what they are doing? Like most things you have accomplished in life and work are mainly due to “luck”, and any minute now people will find out that you have been faking it all along and are a fraud? That you are really not qualified for most things you are doing (or want to do)? Whenever people give you good feedback or compliments, you just kind of shrink and think “they are just being nice”?

Hello imposter syndrome! Most of us have been there - according to studies around 70% of people have experienced imposter syndrome at some point. I also feel that women are more impacted by this because of the all-pervasive, internalised patriarchy we all live through. In that sense, it’s not really a “syndrome” as such that is somehow a pathology generated within us, but it’s a symptom of broader oppressive structures in our society. This article sums up this problematic well from a feminist perspective.

Imposter syndrome refers to a person having a deep internal feeling and experience that they are not as competent as others perceive them to be. This can lead to many negative and unwanted consequences, like lower self-esteem, passing up job opportunities, never speaking up in meetings, dreading presentations and speaking gigs, procrastinating on important tasks and having increased stress levels and anxiety.

It can affect everyone, but studies have shown that highly capable perfectionists are specifically impacted. And also, HSPs!

Why are HSPs likely to experience imposter syndrome?

There’s not much research done on the HSP trait and imposter syndrome, but it makes sense that we are more deeply affected by this than others. Our nervous system is sensitive by nature and we constantly process a lot of information and stimuli. Situations like receiving feedback or having to speak up in a meeting generally cause strong reactions in us – we often feel this even as physically debilitating, like a feeling of someone kicking us in the stomach or having a block in our throat.

This overwhelm and overstimulation fuels imposter syndrome because we are so attuned to what other people are saying (or not saying!) and doing, or the way they are just being. People’s perceptions and the things they say easily affect us. When we are put on the spot and have our nervous system going on overdrive (like when Sally wants you to improvise something in a meeting and you were not allowed to prepare), our imposter syndrome is further triggered (“I suck because I can’t even handle this simple situation like all the others”.) And so the cycle continues.

HSPs are generally conscientious with people-pleasing tendencies because we want everyone around us to be happy and comfortable. We don’t want to rock the boat or cause any chaos or conflict. This often ends up with us wanting to do things for others, often at our own expense.

Depth of processing is one of the key HSP qualities. This can work to our advantage because it means we are highly perceptive with great attention to nuances and details. But it can also get draining and heavy and further fuel perfectionist, people-pleasing and imposter thinking tendencies. We ruminate a lot and live inside our minds, overanalysing and dissecting everything we are thinking, what has happened to us or what other people have said or done. We tend to be overly harsh on ourselves and judge ourselves against high standards.

How can we tackle imposter syndrome?

There is no one magic way to get rid of imposter syndrome or to “cure” it. It’s a long process where I find that cultivating self-compassion is key. Whenever we get feelings and thoughts around imposter syndrome, it’s important not to judge these or try to push them away. The “fake it till you make it” approach doesn’t really work here. What helps is to allow these feelings to come to the surface, acknowledge them and work through them. Treating yourself with kindness and compassion instead of harsh judgment like we often tend to do with our inner critic.

Practising self-awareness and noticing when imposter syndrome pops up is key. When we learn to notice the difference between what is actually true and what are just beliefs we hold about ourselves (which we have come to absorb as “truths”), this is when we can start to tackle imposter thinking.

For example, when we think something like “I won’t be able to deliver this speech, it’s going to be ridiculous and everyone will find out I don’t actually know my stuff”, we can start to consciously question ourselves – how do we know this is the absolute truth? Is there a possibility that it is not the truth and you can actually deliver the speech? Can you think of at least one instance when you delivered a speech and it went well?

This questioning technique (also used in NLP, neurolinguistic programming) is specifically looking for words and all-encompassing expressions like “always”, “everyone”, “truth”, “how things are” that can then be dissected and probed further. In this, it helps to work with a coach or write these down in a journal to work through the limiting beliefs in a structured way.

Another thing that helps is to remember. Remember all the times you succeeded well, despite your initial fears. When you were courageous and did something even if it felt hard or like you had no idea what you were doing. You can make a folder on your phone or laptop and collect positive feedback and constructive words that you have received from others – from your boss, colleagues, friends, family, anyone. And whenever imposter and fraud thinking pops up, it helps to open this folder and remember that you are, in fact, awesome and can do the damn thing.

I don’t believe there is one best way that works in tackling imposter syndrome. It’s a process that will take time, and some days it’s easier to squash it than others. Just remember it is not just you, and a lot of this is caused by patriarchal and societal conditioning we’ve all lived through. Don’t blame yourself for it and don’t carry it alone.

And remember: the very fact that you are thinking you are a fraud and an imposter means that you most likely are not. Actual imposters and those who have nothing to add to anything rarely question themselves.

Do you often suffer from imposter syndrome? What has helped you the most in dealing with it?